I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
