somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
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