Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
