I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
