I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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