Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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