Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
