Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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