Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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