He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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