4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
