Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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