Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
