The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
