Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize