its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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