i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Sorry about my life...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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