yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize