it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
3 2 1 whiskey
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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