You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
