i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
