That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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