I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize