It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i think i just lost a toe
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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