By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
