Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I would fuck him just for his dog
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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