i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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