Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize