I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
