Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
