Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I fill condoms, not promises.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
