why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize