i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
