East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i came on her dog
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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