I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
