Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
