I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
