im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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