She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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