YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
