Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
