Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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