So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
