I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
