I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
