Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
