found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
