I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize