week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
