At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
