I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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