Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
