I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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