Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
