like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
