it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
