there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize