what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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