Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
