what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
