his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
