so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
