I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize