Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
