sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize