I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
