The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
