Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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