There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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