so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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