great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize