This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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