its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
